03-03-05 - 1:07 p.m.
march 3 thursday
I took today off for the wake. i saw my aunt mary in that casket. Pink dress, hair done, she looked beautiful. Looked like the ballbuster i loved as a child.
Sherry, her granddaughter, was there. her son was not. that son of a bitch. he already said he would not be showing his face. good ridance to him. let him die alone.
the family sat, i stood. i feel better standing. my coat on. i was cold. i was yelled at for not sitting, not taking my coat off. i broke down. please dont yell at me. this is how i'm comforetable. i cried. they left me alone.
we watched a DVD that was made of all hte pics we collected of aunt mary set to music. i cried.
deb came and kept me company. I felt better that she was there. Kellyann sent beautiful flowers.
we went home and i sat in my car and smoked.
7 pm came and back we went to the funeral home. mom watched the dvd over and over again.
uncle louis, who we hate, came. hes my grandfathers brother. his son hung over like a mafia body guard. i found out it was scotty. somerset counties most wanted a few years ago. lol. uncle louis must be so proud. they sat in the back. spoke to no one. my grandfather didnt look happy. i think if he was somewhere else he would have given louis a piece of his mind. but grandpa sat quietly. they went up tot he casket after about a half an hour of just sitting there. the mumbled something no one could catch and went back to their seats. i wanted to lunge but everyone told me no. lol.
the wakes were over and i went back to the house alone. alone with me and my thoughts of death. you know that never goes anywhere good.
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