03-04-05 - 10:42 a.m.
feb 4 friday
first stop. Funeral home. We said our last goodbyes to aunt mary. It felt like we sat there forever.
Mom went in the limo and i went with aunt cathy. I didnt really want to go in the limo. I wanted to drive my damn self but no one would let me.
On to st. annes church. i dont like this church much. Too gold! everything is gold. its disgusting. i thought a church was supposed to be simple. i thought the money we gave was to go to charity not some golden bible.
i sat by aunt cathy who told me to sit by mom. mom says are you going for communion? i say no. she says then you cant sit in this pew. i go back to aunt cathy. fuck you all. lol.
My grandmother was a reck and for the first time i saw tenderness from my grandfather. he wiped her tears and helped her stand and sit.
In the middle of the ceremony the strangest feeling came over. a feeling peace. A moment where my body and throte no longer ached from holding back tears. where i was no longer afraid of death. a moment of no tears. just calm. the moment went away way too soon for my liking.
Cousin bruno did one of his speaches that left you crying like a little baby.
We left in silence and drove to st bernards cematary. A rose was given to each of us. blankets were given to grandma and grandpa when we sat under the tent. it was raining and cold. a golden door with MARY JANUZZI rested by the casket. A few more words were said about our sister mary and then we placed our roses on the door and went home.
home was a zoo as grandma made sure everyone ate all the food she got from wegmans. too much food. i ate quickly then finally got a chance to sleep. i took a 4 hour nap.
kellyann came by and we went for drinks at applebees.
goodbye aunt mary. you will always be an inspiration to me. thank you for all you taught me and all i will teach my children.
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