2003-29-12 - 1:23 p.m.
dec 29 monday
katie had her doc apt for the baby. i wanted to take her but the mother already told her she would. yes i am getting a bit jelouse. i dont know if i ever will get the time with katie i want. i was kinda hoping i could take her to the docter. i know the mother is trying to help but i still feel like she trampled all over my time here. i mean she came the day i arrived and she is leavin the day i am leaving. why? she knew i was going to be there.
the differance between me and this woman is, is that she is going to watch that baby grow. and i'm not. katie and joey are going to move to florida, not to nj so i still wont see my niece all that often. she will get to see her every day! not fair! maybe i am beign stupid. i dont know. all i know is, is that this was supposed to be my week and i cant even take my sis to the doc. sounds stupid i know but its how i feel.
later on in the evening katie had asked if we could watch the baby while her, the mother, and joey went to look at some stuff. we said sure. when joey got home he ate dinner and watched stargate. so me and D asked katie if we had time to get food. she said sure go to a restaurant.
me and D got a little lost and waisted time so we finally find a fridays and now we are running late getting back to the house.
my nerves are on edge because D kept talking about how the mother was prolly at home calling us irresponsible and shit and i got so wound up that all i felt was sick.
when we got back joey had taken his mother back to the hotel because we were really late and katie told me not to worry about it. it was ok. joey didnt care either. but my nerves were still shot.
i hate this walk on eggshell shit.
i feel horrible that D has to do it too. i feel like this whole trip is shit. i dont wanna feel like this. please god make it better. i know it will be better. the best part about it though is that the baby is beautiful and katie and I are getting along just fine and when you really stop and think about it. thats all that really matters.
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