2003-27-11 - 1:07 a.m.
nov 27 thursday
i slept horribly last night. i was up until at least 4 AM watching the disney channel. just thinking about things.
in the morning when i woke up at 8 i got dressed and went to my house.
when i get there my grandmother and mother tell me that ashley told them a whole shit load of stuff that was a complete and utter fuckin lies. like that i was smoking in aunt cathys home. I DONT FUCKIN THINK SO. i would never disrespect someones house like that. B. i managed to eat a whole entire applepie and leave none for her. well let me tell you something. i dont eat apple pie not too mention its still sitting in the fuckin refrigerator un fuckin opened. she also told grandma that i was fuckin sloppy. fuck you man ok i was the one cleaning up after ashley. and ashley even said wow april is cleaning.
i was so upset that ash would go and tell these lies about me. i was even moreupset that grandma and mom believed that i would smoke in aunt cathys house. i was livid
so ashley calls me and says i need money and this and that and i ws like well i am not driving all the way back to flemington so she said she would come to grandmas so then i said good because we have a lot to talk about. she never came
me mom and grandma went to thanksgiving dinner which was alright.
then i go to aunt cathys to get my stuff and wait for aunt cathys to get home
she locked me out of her house. she even changed the fuckin garage code so i couldnt get it. can you believe that?now i am really unhappy. so i call grandma and tell her ash locked me out and grandma calls ash and ash says i am afraid of april she makes me sick when she yells at me so i am not letting her in. i was like my stuff is in there.
so finally ash opens the door with the cell phone in her hands. she is on the phone wiht my mother. she says to me in the nasties tone possible get your stuff and leave i'm busy. well i just saw red. i am handed the cell and my mom says to me get your stuff and leave. well you know thats not my style aso i go and "accidently" shut the phone off and me and ashley begin to fight. she was yellin at me like you would not believe. but i aint like the others i fuckin yelled back. i aint buyin her a fuckin pony because she thinks she had a hard lif. it was a choice made and i found out how ashley really feels about me. no matter how much i have done for her and how much i would have sacrificed to see her ok that is not enough. i need to be understanding all the time. i need to not yell at her for stupid things she does. yeah fuck that no one would have let me get away with this shit even if i did have panic attacks.
i saw that ashley now hates me and i have deal with that at least until she "forgives" me. but i know i did the right thing. i know that took this matter into my hands and at least taught her that one person in this family aint gunna coddle her.
i did however leave the house crying. no one has ever looked at me the way ashley did. like i was an insane killer. i have never been locked out of anyones house before. i have never felt like an animal searching for blood before. i hve thrown katie threw walls and she never looked at me like that. i didnt even hit ashley and she looked at me like i was the star of the texas chainsaw massacre.
so i call josh and meet him at andy. andy is upset about a woman but i really didnt want to hear about it. so i excused myself and josh came with me and i got to vent. thanks josh.
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