2003-26-04 - 11:29 a.m.
april 26
I am standing up at the water's edge in my dream
I cannot make a single sound as you scream
it can't be that cold, the ground is still warm to touch
this place is so quiet, sensing that storm
red rain is coming down
red rain
red rain is pouring down
pouring down all over me
PETER GABRIELLE- RED RAIN
the weather was just plain spooty today. wind crashing threw the trees, rain pelting down. and at 7:30 AM time my period woke me up to tell me it had arrived. like fuckin clockwork. D gets on the pill and suddenly i'm on it too. she gets hers on thursday and i get mine on saturday. at least now i can time it.
so as i was feeling under the weather there was no NYC today. i really did wanna go. but i would have been miserable company. so me and deb went to the hillsboro diner instead. i couldnt eat much of anything really. thanks to the ickiness of friday and now my period. i was a mess.but i did win this really cute bunny rabbit. i wanted the cow but got the bunny instead. deb kept on asking what i wanted to do afterwards. i just kinda wanted to go home. but i had already bailed on the city and i didnt want to be spooty. so we went to target where i actually had a decent time. but its all i could handle. my tum tum hurt so bad.
when i got home and a few hours later i felt better i realized that everyone had plans for the eve but me. thank god john was around. me and him went to micheals bar. talked about alot things. it was nice.i still feel bad for him with the whole vickey thing. i wish she would make up her mind about wether or not she wants to take him back. i also dont know what to think about brian. john says he said that if something happens it happens but if it doesnt at least he still has a friend. which is more than i have gotten in a looooong while. but i never see the kid. i dont know how we are supposed to amount to anything that way. maybe for all i know john was just saying all that to make me feel better and brian really just thinks i'm not his type or that i am fat or ugly. all in all it doesnt matter much. after that i caught up with bob and khan for a bit at felix.
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