2003-14-03 - 12:18 p.m.
april 14
my classroom is brite and cheery. lots of colors. happy little drawings everywhere. bubbles and laughter. then why is it that all i felt like doing was shaking these kids until there brains fell out of there ears?
we have 12 kids in our room this week. 12! 12 1 and a half year olds. oh i wanted to kill myself. they are all evil! there is this one kid. arjun. who does nothing but cry. all day! oh and its one of those cries that gets under your skin. deep deep under.
another one named lauren doesnt like me! every time i get near her she cries. i feel so bad. all the kids like me! i dont understand why this one doesnt. i cant even change her diaper. she wont go near me! it saddens me greatly.
after work i met up with kellyann, D, deb, and robbie and felix. it was really nice because its something we havent done in a long time. we laughed our asses off at the latest gossip. D can be so hysterical. the shit that pops out of her mouth.
after dinner i got in the car with deb to talk about game. i told her how i felt and she understood. but it didnt change the fact that we werent going to go back to my chapter. josh seems to feel the game needs to go in a different direction. ok fine. i can handle that. i just hope its good! lol. if you take away from me you better prepare to make a hell of a game. lol. jk jk. i also had a feeling that maybe deb was not happy with me. but we cleared that up too. i am glad we talked. its good sometimes to open your mouth and get shit out of your system. some times we are so scared to do so for fear of hurting the other person. i say that if you do it in a non confrontation way that it shouldnt be a problem. at least then you will know what is going on instead of bieng paranoid. i know i felt better afterwards.
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