2004-15-10 - 7:23 p.m.
october 15. friday
�Here�s to trying� Rhymes with dying.� �Sir Markham Test of the Twins
today is my last day of work for a week and a day!!!! tomorrow i get on a plane and fly to sunny florida. but we are on today arent we?
i said my cheery goodbyes to my co workers. in reply i got many fuck yous for leaving. too bad i earned my break.
i left them and went to rafferties. tonite is the last night i will see persephone. katie, the baby, mom and grandma met me there. persephone was in a little dress with red apples on it. a little bow in her hair. shes so cute. she sat and played with her bottle top and laughed at me when i took the bottle away and pretended to drink from it. her little toothy smile. i looked with sadness at her. i know she will not forget me. i was there in the first days of her life and i will be here for her always. she knows that.
after dinner we took pictures with the baby and katie. memories to be stored in a book and brought out for the amusement of her boyfriends. look this is persephone taking a bath. this is her on the potty. lol. it was done to me now its her turn! lol.
we said our goodnights and i went to go pack for me trip. at 9:15pm i realized that my black shirt, the one i needed so desperately was now all yucky and torn from the wash and much wear. i tore my ass out of the house only to arrive at old navy too late. NO! there must be another store. one that would sell to me a black short sleeved shirt. target loomed up at me from across teh street and there i ran. luckily they had what i was looking for. i also purchased another black shirt that siad BOO on it. i would wear it for disneys not so scary holloween party. very good. phew. all is now well.
i left to meet bob,panila, deb, and josh and felix. this will be bobs final trip home. i hate to think it will be. i hate to think that in a few weeks he will be fighting far away in a country that does not want us there. cant dwell on these things though. so we smiled and we laughed and we made stupid jokes. anything to cover up how and what we were really feeling or thinking. tears in the corner of all our eyes. each of us telling ourselves to get a hold of ourselves.
the time at felix passed and i went home. i went home feeling sick and quite alone for some reason. i was about to loose persephone and katie again. i was about to loose bob for a year...or maybe just loose bob. the thought of that almost killed me. i pushed it to the back of my head. he will certainly come home.
one last peek on persephone before i went to bed. there she was in her pack and play standing up smiling at me. i picked her up and gave her many kisses. i cried and put her on my lap for her to fall asleep. i will miss you so much i said and her little arms wrapped around my neck and there she fell asleep. it will be one of my fondest memories.
well now its off to bed to dream of mickey mouse and the rockin rollar coaster. good night all. miss me when i am gone!
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