2004-16-05 - 8:06 a.m.
may 16 sunday
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
-- Emo Philips
today is my last day at kellyanns. i decided to make it special and not leave her apartment. lol. i got up and watched cartoons. and the newsies.
i say to myself hey! why dont you sign on line? so i did and panila was on line so i thought i would ask him if he was coming to my birthday. i had to start asking people because heaven forbid it we go and say yes and no in e mail for in the timely manner i had asked. too much for some people!
i was not too happy with the answer of "well i think i am going to go pennsylvania and visit my friends there instead." now you all can imagine how i must have saw red. i stated that he knew my birthday was then why in the hell would he go to pennsylvania that day.
i was extremely hurt. he kept bieng like whats the big deal and all and i KNOW that if I missed HIS birthday the shit would hit the fan. now i am mad and hurt. what kind of friend is this? i have been nothing but there for him and he is going off to visit friends that i dont see hangin around him all that often helpin him threw shit. so they mean more to him i guess because they arent there. i just dont know. all i know is, i am hurt.
now i just feel like maybe he just doesnt give 2 shits about me. its a horrible feeling.
so i put up my away message and watched jurassic park 2. horrid movie btw.
i feel junky and depressy. i talked to D and she really didnt make me feel all that better. its like she is kinda lecturing at me more than talking to me these days. i dont know whats going on with that. now i feel kinda worse. so i go out to quick check get lunch and some cigs and continue to watch TV until the hours of the night.
i didnt want to leave kellyanns apartment. its so nice and peaceful. i could live alone and be happy. no one to nag at you and no one to say hello to. just yourself and if you dont want company you can just be by yourself. its nice.
�
�
