2004-16-03 - 10:45 a.m.
march 16 tuesday
Open wide the gate
Stain the world with the blood of man
~morbid angel
it fuckin snowed today. can you beleive that shit????!!!!! its march for the love of god!
but i do have a funny tale.
picture it...kiddie academy. 10 mins before you leave work. you hear that a child bit the penis of another child. do you laugh? oh yes. but you feel bad as well because the little boy is in a lot of pain. and what do you say to this little girl? you say. WE DONT DO THAT! because really what else can she understand. and you laugh some more and you leave work. laughing
i went home because my mother needed my help. i was supposed to go right to debs which is only 5 mins away from my work. but me bieng the awesome person that i am i went home to help. when i got there my mother says oh i am not going to put the stuff in the attic today. i was going to kill her. now i ahve to go all the way back to debs in the snow fall. lovely.
took me 45 mins to get to debs which was annoying.
deb is doing a workshop for us girls on magic and stuff. i like to learn about other religions and see how they do things so i said cool!
tonite it was only me her and shawnie. we talked for a bit then started the first ritual of the full moon cirlces. it was a ritual to a godess named durga.
deb cleaned the space, called the directions and all that stuff. me and shawn fallowed along < shawn is a girl by the way> deb then had us meditate which i have to admit i am not good at. either i am too wired to just sit there or i am too tired and almost fall asleep.
the main part of the ritual and what i thought was the most powerful was when we chanted and put knots into a cord. it felt then like we were all as one fighting for the same common goal. to be more confident, to be more trustful of others and so on and so forth. i felt that since the 3 of us were all on the same pg that that also made it a bit more powerful.
we blessed the bread and wine and then had personal sharing. then we opened the circle which also felt very powerful and then...ATE CAKE!
all in all i think it was a lovely experiance and just another way to worship. i think that when you put your passion into any religion you can feel something deep in you begin to warm and you know you are bieng watched over. i think that is what i miss the most in religion. the feeling of the god or goddess within me. i think that is what has been gone from me for so long. but during debs ritual i did feel a more closeness to god or the goddess who can really say which? i actually felt something. which is a big change for me.
it was definatly a nice experiance and i will be attending the next full moon circle which i hear will be held on the beach. rock on
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