2004-15-02 - 10:04 a.m.
feb 15 sun
i feel like complete ass. my nose wont stop running and i got this really annoying cough.
i watched tv most of the day but then later on went on with deb to felix. just for a little bit.
feb 16 mon
i went to work today even thought i felt horrid. gatta make da money or so they say. who ever the hell THEY are.
after work i laid in the bathtub and read for a very long time. almost done with the book black sun rising. very good book.
feb 17 tues
still sick. work was hell.
i went home tonite and read and watched tv and then talked to D about my sister and my mother. D is very in favor for my mother and in this conversation was kinda harsh. what she said and all held its truth but still its like can i keep no hope of my own? why cant i think that one day mom and katie will talk again? i have only waited 4 years. i dont know. i know she was trying to get me ready for maybe they wont ever talk but i think maybe the wording could have been different. i dont know all i know is, is that it hurt. and then i worry if you want to take away my hope is this how your life is? with no hope? just black and white and no dreamy silver on the outskirts. that is not good! i hope Ds life isnt like that. everyone needs hope.
feb 18 wed
i didnt go to debs house tonite. i was so sick. and now of course i ahve my fuckin period. into the bath tub i went and read my book.
i talked to my aunt cathy for a bit who told me about katie wanting to buy and SUV. katie really shouldnt be buying any expensive cars.
then i talked to katie and she asked me if i would co sign for a car for her. i was like...you know...i just dont know. i need to think about that. i wound up saying yes no more than a few mins later but i had my doubts that this was a good idea. katie also needs 3000 dollars and i found out that aunt mary ann and uncle bruno are going to front her the money which is really proper of them. at least some of the family is talking to katie now. half my dream is complete.
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