06-27-05 - 12:00 p.m.
june 27 monday
i always wonder how it is that good people have to work so hard and the evil get things handed to them. i wait for the justice of god but it doesnt come. to the wicked there is no smiting! why?
i am talking about the one named hillary. the evil beast who should be at home crying that i am not in life. crying over the wrongs she has commited over the years. now i ask myself shouldnt i be over this by now? no. i'm not. nothing i can do about that. i think of the shame she put on my family and i still to this day want to throttle her. i want to make her hurt as much as i did. but you cant make her hurt. she picks herself, dusts herself and somehow manages to say fuck you i dont need you. i will date and make new friends and gain a million more pounds but it doesnt matter because people will love me anyway.
it is the thought of her life becoming good that i cant stand! she doesnt deserve it! i do! yet my life is trial after trial! things are handed to her. apportunites and boys. i just dont get it. i dont get how i am in constant check of myself and polite as possible to new people and i dont get a second glance. yet she is acting like a fool and humping mens legs and its yay for hillary damn shes hot! RIDDLE ME THAT ONE BATMAN! is that hot to guys? a girl who in public tries to look sexy by licking the inside of her french fry? is that hot? maybe the next time i am at burger king i'll sexily lick the ketchup off the burger and see if the guys come a runnin.
alright april cut the shit. i should not be like this. forget hillary. forget it. why cant i? even after all this time? why cant i just let her live her life without me in the backround hoping it falls to pieces? i guess i'm an evil person too....
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