02-04-05 it. - 1:54 p.m.
feb 4 friday
This is the day! the day i leave new jersey for the biggest party in america! MARDI GRAS!
I woke up bounced out of bed and looked outside. My jaw dropped at the site of snow falling. OH NO! OH NO NO! THIS CAN NOT BE! OMG HOW AM I GOING TO GET TO NEW ORLEANS! i quickly call D. ITS SNOWING! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT! WHAT DO WE DO! april calm down my mother says from the hallway. its only going to snow until 10. phew. ok. ok i'm ok.
April, mom says, you need to give me money for your visa bill. WHAT?! if i give you money for the visa bill i will hardly have any money for new orleans! we talked about this! i told you that i would give you the money for the bill when i got home! the payment will not be late! APRIL YOU NEED TO BE MORE RESPONSIBLE! ah fuck! ok fine i will go to talbots and get my check!
so to talbots i go only to find out that the pay checks arent delivered until around 1. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! no april, says the boss, the little old man who brings them does not bring them until 1 or maybe 2. FUCK!
home i go with bad news. mom looks at me sighs and that was that.
I finish packing and got in my car. on my way to Ds i kept thanking god that the snow had stopped falling and that hillary had opted out of the trip. not because of me because of deb which i am really not clear on. What will this trip be like? will i have fun? am i out of my league? WHO CARES!
i get to Ds and i wait for her sister to come and get me. from here we went to pick up Ds grandfather who is alot like mine. from there we went to get D at the school. Finally we made our way to newark airport
after check in was all done and baggage was sent on its way we had loads of time to kill. We had a very nice lunch/dinner at the fridays. We talked eagerly about the trip and how much fun we were about to have. Checking our watched we made our way to the terminal.
we waited. and waited. and waited. the plane was late. now we are going on a connecting flight. so...NOT GOOD!
we wait some more and the feeling of doom rose up with in me.
finally we board and D is really freaked out. We spend most of the time reading our books and pretending like its going to be ok.
We made good time and it looked like everything was going to be ok. until they would not permit us to land due to too many planes on the run way. i began my hysterical laughter and D very loudly began to complain. uh oh i thought. shes gunna loose it.
Off the plane we finally got and ran across timbuktu to get to the next flight. WE MADE IT! all was ok!
That flight was only an hour and we were both in better moods. i didnt know what spending a night in an airport would be like and really didnt want to find out.
we got our luggage and waited for the buss to take us to the wyndum whitney hotel.
its only a 20 min ride says the driver. great! wrong. its was a 40 min ride due to him taking us to the wrong damn hotel! now i am starting to get very angry.
we got into the whitney and it was gorgeous. it used to be a bank! the vault door was open and inside is now a little meeting room. the reception desk looked like the bank teller desk. rock on!
do we have problems getting in? oh you fuckin bet we do. deb had called and said that she left instructions at the desk. we told them that and they couldnt find the keys. i had to call josh and he came from the bar next door to straighten things out. we then go and claim our room. john had already made a huge mess in our room which both me and d were not happy about.
we fallow josh to the bar and began drinking coors lites and 3 wise mens. deb and josh retired and so did D. i was at the bar with john until 3. finally i told him it was bed time. john and i had a wonderful conversation and i thought hey its really nice to see him again!
we got back to the room and i slept with john. a min after my body hit the bed we were kissing and i had no clothes on. i kept thinking oh my god this is going way to fast! he hasnt wined and dined me at all! this isnt how i want it to go but for some reason i couldnt will myself to stop it. i havent been touched in a very long time and this was better then nothing right? right? well he asked about sex and i said sure why not. but my heart was not in it. which is why i had to stop him 10 mins later. it wasnt working. he was hurting me really bad and i couldnt take it. he was also not so gentle. he wanted to ram it in and call it a night. i kept thinking what am i doing? you dont love this guy. you really dont even think hes cute. my mind was everywhere and thinking all sorts of things. like holy shit does this hurt! and i wish he would stop so i could at least turn on the tv. i am sure that he was thinking things equally as harsh. like why cant i keep my dick in this bitch. why is she crying out in pain.
not to mention this whole time D is in the next bed. passed out i mind you but still. that made me uncomforetable.
i finally told him to get off me. i could take no more. i felt bad. i made it in my head like it was my fault. he climbed off me and i said i was sorry. he said it was ok but i know that it wasnt. this was all too fast and a big mistake. ugh.
i went to go turn over but he grabbed me and pulled me into him locking his legs over mine so i couldnt move. oh my god no! i pushed at him and hit him but he wouldnt budge. needless to say my first night in new orleans was a sleepless one.
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